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Thursday, 30 July 2009

My gym is bad for me...

FACT!

Reason:

I went to the gym the other night (I only go swimming). Anyway, the pool - which is usually empty was FULL. There was a swimming lesson going on and just lots of people swimming. At one point I got splash back off a fellow swimmer and ended up snorting chlorine, not good at all.

So I thought, fine - I'll just sit in the jacuzzi and relax and think about my new play etc. So I got in the empty jacuzzi.
Within two minutes a strange guy got in (I am a magnet for these types of people), and anyway, he stared at me then started, well I think he was trying to chat me up...

WEIRDO: Hello.
ME: Hi (Turning away from him).
WEIRDO: Do you come here often? (Yes, he seriously asked me that!)
ME: Kind of.
WEIRDO: Have you been to the other gym on Whitworth street?
ME: No.
WEIRDO: It's good, much better than here.
ME: Right.
WEIRDO: Do you go out much... clubbing?
ME: No.
WEIRDO: Do you have a boyfriend?
ME: Yes, he's just over there. (Pointing to the gym bit, where I wished I was)

There was a pause. The jacuzzi bubbles sprung to life and I had my back to him.
I did have to stop myself laughing at one point because the force of the bubbles blew the chest bit of my swimming costume up, making me look like I had Baywatch boobs! There was so much air in my costume, it looked like my huge boobs were bobbing above the water. I had to put my hand over my costume and push the air out. I was trying not to laugh, becuse what a stupid Sally Lawton situation to be in!

Anyway, after a while he said -
WEIRDO: What do you do for a living?
ME: (A bit huffy at this point) I'm a writer.

Pause

WEIRDO: What do you write?
ME: Pardon?
WEIRDO: What do you write? Do you like, write signs or something?

OMG! If someone said to you that they were a writer, would the first thing you thought of be - 'Oh, a sign writer?'

ME: I write plays. (I said all huffy). Excuse me, I'm going for a swim.

Honestly, my gym is like a very bad 18-30s holiday sometimes - it's very amusing to watch, but I do not want to be a part of it.
And that concludes reason number one why having a gym membership is bad for my health!

2 comments:

Janice Okoh said...

The sign bit is hilarious! still chuckling.

Sally Lawton said...

It is funny. What a complete plonker! x

 
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